That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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