Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
