what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
