New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
my poor anus
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
