Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
