im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
