My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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