like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
