somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
