we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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