well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
