how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
