I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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