Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
