I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
