sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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