he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We are two peas in an std pod
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
