Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
