ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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