He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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