I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
