I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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