Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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