I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
