i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
