his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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