I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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