just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
