that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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