This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
