Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
