my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
