So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
