Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
