He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
