the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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