I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
