Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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