I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
