I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
