i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
