So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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