I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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