ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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