It's Friday. Sex?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
