I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
