I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
