i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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