and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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