the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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